Therapy 101

Okay, this is not going to be a happy post.  I will proceed to throw a whiny clay tantrum and things might get messy...

Plain and simple my clay sucks.  My red clay has this horrible grog in it that makes everything look gross and my casting body dunts to hell and isn't microwave/dishwasher safe.  Ahhhggg!  I have so much time and money invested in earthenware that I feel I would completely back track if I were to move to a mid-range body.  My goal is to produce ware that is FUNCTIONAL.  Do you know how much I use my microwave and dishwasher?  For God's sake, I use a computer to generated images to put on my work, yet I can't stick the thing in a modern appliance without the fear of it breaking?

...::sighs:: I might be done now.  I wrote all of that in anger.  Everything I want to complain about is just so superficial and equates to me having a bad day.    

My studio is hot and not well insulated.  I have worries about the upcoming winter and clay freezing.  I need to order supplies, but I want to spend my money wisely, because things have not been selling as well and I haven't been restocking my inventory.  I just spent 5 minutes centering a 1.25 lb ball of clay only to find 3 bits of sponge stuck inside (thus the reason it was not centering).  My tummy hurts. Work was CRAZY busy this last week (and probably won't ease up anytime soon), so I got home every afternoon exhausted and didn't get any studio time.  Clay is expensive and to restock with new clay/toss the old stuff or change clay bodies/glazes completely would be detrimental...this really could go on and on.


::takes deep breath:: Let's evaluate.

Q: Mitzi, what is your main goal for the future? 
A: To go to a reputable graduate ceramics program.

Q: How are you going to accomplish getting into that program?
A: I need (or feel as if I need) a cohesive body of work and a beefed up resume. I feel as if my job experience section is well fed, so I need to work on the exhibiting portion.

Q:  What steps are you taking to exhibit more?
A: Applying for juried shows, solo shows, and group shows, and trying to get into more galleries.  Basically, I need to put myself out there. When I put myself out there, I need to make sure I build a good reputation, so that people will buy my work in the future and recommend it to others.

Q: What are your plans for building a good reputation? 
A: In order to build a good reputation, I need good work.

Q: And how does one make good work?
A: In order to make good work, I need to invest.more.time.

::insert humility and embarrassment here:: Well now...this definitely sheds a new light on things. Obviously, I need to apologize to my clay... 

I do not want to divorce you, earthenware.  You produce beautiful, bright glaze finishes.  You are cost efficient and relatively one of the most environmentally friendly bodies to fire.  My anger was misdirected.  It was my fault for not listening to you.  You are sick and I expected results from you that you could not deliver. I will get you appropriate medication and help you recuperate.  I will not give up on you.  We will get through this dear friend.  ::hugs::